Mruffruff (Mary) - this is for you.

From the local newspaper (The Oregonian)

just flew in from Dulles and boy are my jokes tired

In a bid to improve the flying experience, Independence Air has hired Dave George, 36, a stand-up comic, to tell jokes over the PA system at Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C. Here are a few of the jokes he's told to waiting passengers:

Independence Air is paging customer Alycia Oaklander. Please be advised that I am over you. I have moved on. And I want my CDs back.

We'll be boarding today by SAT scores -- lowest scorers first, please.

We have an important announcement for all United and USAirways employees: Your anger management classes begin in five minutes...



Hoo boy, sounds like Dave needs some help. Luckily The Washington Post asked its readers to send in some new jokes that Dave could use. Some of our favorites:

Would the owner of a red and tan Boeing 737 please report to the tarmac? Your lights are on.

Attention, please. Could everyone just stop where they are and just shut up for one teeny little moment? I really like this song.

Attention, passengers: We've just been informed that a butterfly has flapped its wings in Brazil. So be prepared for flight delays.

Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that, due to an error by our baggage handling department, your luggage has accidentally been loaded aboard the same aircraft you will be traveling on. We apologize for the convenience.

Your attention, please: As a cost-cutting measure, this flight will be remotely piloted from India.