What a horrible situation you're in. I can't tell you what to do but I can tell you what I would do. If any of my pets were so afraid of someone I would not have the heart of putting them through that experience again. I tend to be a touch overprotective when it comes to my pets and this comes from someone who feels more at ease in the company of animals than other people's. On the other hand I also know how heart breaking losing a friendship can be and why this thought hurts you so much. My thoughts are with you.