But here the difference is, when Joe met Dave (or whatever their names might be) Joe always talked to Dave about how he wants to live as a woman, pass in society as a woman, BE a woman. Joe even took hormones to start feminizing. So when Joe takes steps to make his dream come true, why would Dave feel challenged/left out/lied to? It wouldn't be a surprise.

I'd probably pass out if my husband came homeand announced he wanted to be a woman -- because he has always loved being a man. I know my husband's dreams and inner self... he is a man through and through. I'd not blink an eye if he came home one day telling me he quit his job to take a job as a college soccer coach for $3,000 a year. Sure we'd be living in a cardboard box, but I at least know what his dream is and I'd support him through the change in career and help him follow his dream of becoming who/what he thinks would make him happiest.