Originally posted by dukedogsmom
I'm afraid he might see himself as alpha over me though I don't let him get away with anything. A lot of it stems from the abuse my ex gave him when he was a puppy. He still hasn't forgotten that and it's been 11 1/2 years. So, I've felt horribly guilty and have spoiled him rotten.
Valerie, You have to realize that Duke is getting up there in age and has aches and pains and does see himself as the King. That in itself is not a bad thing. It is however when you state he is alpha over you too. You must let him get away with things (at least some of the time) in order for him to feel alpha over you. That is a bad thing.

I don't know the whole story but you mentioned he was abused by your ex when he was a pup. Because of that, you tend to over protect him and spoil him rotten. There is nothing wrong with that unless you let him get away with unacceptable behavior (even if it's only from time to time). You still never mentioned how you reacted when Duke snapped at Kay. I would also be curios to know what you do when Duke stares at other dogs and shows his teeth.

If Duke was my dog, there are a few things I would try. First, he needs to realize he is NOT alpha over you. Second, he needs consistent discipline. Unacceptable behavior is ALWAYS addressed and not just some of the time. His abuse as a pup is sad, however, it is in the past and is not happening now. Don't confuse sympathy of his past and spoiling him rotten with love and whats best for him now! Just as in children, you can create monsters if you spoil them rotten without giving them firm discipline also. I'm not talking abuse in discipline. Simply letting the dog know what the word NO is goes a long way. Dixie and Dusty both know the tone of my voice with a firm NO means stop or else a consequence is coming.

About your visits with Kays dogs there.... Nala is not your concern. If Nala steps out of line with Duke then it is Kay's job to correct her. I believe she has a firm handle on her dogs realizing she is alpha over them. Your concern is with Duke! You need to constantly be on guard around him with other dogs. Again, if it was my dog, I wouldn't separate them but would have Duke on a short lead and maintain him at all times in a down, sit or a heel. With him being on lead and in a constant maintained state, he doesn't have to feel like he needs to protect you. I also think he will feel more protected and secure that nobody is going to hurt him, relieving him of undo worry. He would not be allowed on the couch or any other place of elevated status in the presence of others. Constantly tell him "Easy" when he looks at Nala or any other dog that is near by. Realize this is a training opportunity and reward him for acceptable behavior. Inappropriate behavior means no reward... Acceptable behavior means reward. I believe Duke and you will be more happy having him under control before something happens than just waiting for something to happen and being regretful and feeling like crying about it afterwards.

The Key to all your problems comes with Duke realizing YOU ARE ALPHA...NO QUESTION ABOUT IT!!