Audrey, you have been struggling with this possibility for a long time now. I have ached for you whenever you mentioned Rufus because I knew what you were going through. It is not an easy decision and not always as clear cut as we would think it would be. One day you think you know the answer, the next day you feel that you don't. And sometimes after you've made up your mind that now is the time, and you take that step, you then have self doubt and guilt about whether it was the right thing. I don't know as I am being helpful here other than letting you know that there are those of us who know how you feel and how hard this is. I wish I could give you a hug. I can say that after going through the same situation, and finally making the decision, and having that self doubt and guilt, and with time passing, I finally have come to peace in knowing that I did the very best I could for my dear Tizzie. I know in your love for Rufus, you will do your best as well whatever choice that leads you to. God bless you and Rufus.
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