My heart is breaking for you because I know only too well how awful this is for you. I had to make the decision 4 years ago to put my sweet cat, Lucy, down. I knew it was coming. She was almost 17 and had lost weight and when she stood her little legs just wobbled. When she got to where she couldn't eat or drink, I decided to let her go. The vet said they could do tests on her but I didn't want her to go through all that. I couldn't stand to see them put her down either. I made them promise to do it as soon as I left the room. It was done before I got out of the office. I had to have them bury her because I rent my home. I had been with other pets that I've had to have put to sleep. I felt it was the least I could do. But I just couldn't stand it with her. I loved her and cuddled her for days before we went in and I know she knows I loved her.

My prayers are with you to give you strength to make the right decision for the both of you. Give youself a little time. If Rufus was in lots of pain, I think you would know. What does your vet advise? I think Rufus himself, will let you know when it's time.