Definitely, definitely enroll him in Obedience, buy good OB books, and start NILIF diligently. I'm so sorry about everything you're going through, but I *promise* that extra training/attention and obedience work will make it a lot better. He does sound like he's not connected to you, out of control, thinks he's the boss and he can run anywhere anytime. Don't let him off-leash AT ALL until he has a very solid recall, only walk him on a leash or a secure long line for exercise. Don't tolerate pushing people over to go out. Whenever anyone is opening a door, Max needs to be on-leash and corrected if he charges for the door. . get him a rolled leather collar (adjust so you can slip two fingers in, and have it at the top of the neck) and have him sit before the door is opened. If he lunges toward it, jerk the leash sharply and get him to sit again before he goes outside. It sounds like he's taking his freedom for granted and he's just going wild. . it will take work but it'll be so much easier for you after Obedience and tons of reinforcing/training. I hope everything gets better soon

Gonzo was also super-drivey and crazy for a while, when he was about 12 months old. If he was off-leash, he thought he was completely in control and could go anywhere he wanted. . . so, he was never off-leash in unfenced areas until his recall was perfect (1 year of Obedience later. .). Now, I still have to remind him to stay close but he'd never run off. We have been walking on trails before, with him off-leash, and a deer has run right by and with just a stern "Leave It" he has completely ignored the deer. OB is SO worth it. We were really lucky to find amazing classes and I even got to be an Assistant Trainer last summer ^_~