I hope some of you have found time to get your Living Wills - the news reported that this case has caused an increase in folks asking about them.
One thing that I keep hearing is "starve her to death" and "murdering her" - neither of with are fair.
I suppose you could say that anyone who dies goes through a period of failing to eat ("starving to death??") as it is a natural step at the end. Folks stop eating whether consciously or unconsciously and the body does begin to shut down, a dying person does develop the sunken face, grimace etc. I have directly experienced death both as an RN and with my mother.
I heard a statement by the Hospice folks who said that going without food or water in the end is NOT painful at all. Anyone who is allowed to die in a Hospice is cared for to prevent any uneccessary suffering and the death is as peaceful as the family will allow.
As for Terri - I wish they would have a spokesperson give the true report on her condition. They would likely report the following: say her lips are not parched because staff will keep them lubricated. Her mouth is often swapped with a moist and soothing swab. She is not in pain either because she is not able to feel pain or that she is medicated.
I have heard conflicting reports about whether Terri feels pain. If there is any chance that she does, she will be given enough morphine to control it.
I have had to switch from network to network to get as many facts as I can. It is a sad situation and hard to sort out the truth with all the allegations being thrown around.
But, the biggest and grossest statement is that she is being starved to death - because this same decision is being made every minute of every day by family caring for loved ones. It doesn't change much if that loved one is hooked to a ventilator because the same logic could be used and this person would then be "asphixiated or suffocated to death". Nothing about death is easy and euphemisms abound -as do these hurtful phrases that will likely haunt the decisions of anyone with a dying relative or friend.
Also - in the Living Will - at least here in Ohio, it clearly lists the withholding of food and water as a life saving measure, along with respirators (vents).
Within the past three years, my husband and I each had to travel across the country to be with a dying parent. in My husband did it twice - for each parent. In each case, there was no Living Will, although I did know the wishes of my mother. We had to initiate a DNR order (do not resuscitate) Both my husband and I had to be the one to make a decision to let the parent die naturally and each sat alone at their bedsides. I was alone with my mother when she took her last breath. Thank God that none of the family resisted us - they simply were not emotionally ready to decide *anything*. They were very much like Terri's family, unable to let go and running purely on emotion.
So, did we allow our parents to starve to death, asfixiate, suffocate, etc? That IS essentially what happens. In order to die, a person HAS to cease beathing, eating, etc.
There is NO WAY anyone will know the truth of what Terri wanted. What I feel sure about is that she would NOT want her picture broadcast on all the television networks for the world to see. This woman has been used as a pawn in a game of anger, politics, blame, family disaggreement and even religion.
I don't like what I hear about the husband either. But those facts are not proven or disproven. I wonder if he will now have a slander suit due to all that has been said about him in this "eleventh hour". But, what I hear is all pretty creepy. Still, the name calling surrounding Terri and all of the division has been beyond hateful. It has made people take sides.
Why did he not divorce her? Perhaps he was committed to seeing her wishes honored??
On the other hand, if there was so much "evidence" that he was a wife abuser, hated her and wanted her dead - why did the family not fight like this to gain custody of her?
I suppose the only good to come from this mess is the increase in Living Wills.
edited later for spelling
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