You're right in saying that flashy dogs and mediocre handlers win over pet quality dogs with great handlers. And if I remember right, you live in Cali, so that's like 10x more true.
Is there any way you could sign onto a dog for juniors and not have it live with you? Or even travel to a few shows and hold leashes for a breeder?
I've had some success in talking to a breeder after they show on the first day of shows and then showing up the second day to help out and hold leashes. More success in hanging around at club on conformation nights and holding leashes and showing dogs for people with multiples and then getting invited to a show.
Just remember, most dog people are friendly and a lot of them are in need of an extra hand. They won't bite hard.
Oh, and believe me, I hear you on parents with jaws and minds wired on "NO MORE DOGS." We'd have like 8 babies if not for my mom. However, as insane as their ideas are, sometimes they are for the best -- I don't know what I'd do with TWO malamutes in college, as I'm not even sure what to do with ONE.