Dear all!

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this thread and for the wonderful flowers you sent for John’s funeral – and the beautiful basket of flowers to my home. I have read the messages little by little, they have helped me a lot during these past weeks, and also the e-mails you sent. I’m sure your thoughts and well wishes have made it a little easier.

I have not yet been able to respond, I’m feeling totally drained, and I miss John SO much!! It has been so very hard having to decide how to do all the things so fast. I wanted to it all the right way. These past weeks have been a nightmare!

John had SO many friends, people from 20-30 years ago still contacted him, he was always there to lend his friends things and had time for chat. I don’t think there is anyboby who was loved more, and by everyone.

His son and I have been very busy arranging all the things concerning church, undertaker and a spot for John at the graveyard. The priest we chose is 2 years younger than John and an “old hippie” We talked the first time for 2 hours in his home next to the church. I felt a little better after that. John and I used to cycle past this church quite often, we didn’t like the outside that much, but inside, it was beautiful. John used to like to visit Cathedrals in Spain and liked that kind of music.

When we went to find a spot for him on the graveyard across the road, we had a few rows to choose in between, and as I had almost decided, I went around to look once more. Then I saw the name of a very good friend of ours, on a gravestone, who died 3 years ago and the one next to it was free, so we chose that. He will be next to his old friend. I did put a little something in his pocket, which I’m sure he wanted to have with him.

John’s sister & BIL came over from England also, it was nice to talk and just be together.

Fister misses John a lot too, he just can’t understand it. I have put John’s undershirt on his duvet as he usually lays on, but he keeps looking for him when he hears a sound from outside. In the evenings, he sit and look at his pillow. I’m trying to cope as best as I can for his sake, trying to play more and cuddle, but he doesn’t come up in bed during the night much.

John told me that a few days before he died, Fister came under his duvet that morning 3 times, while he was reading the newspaper – he usually only came up once.

I’m trying to keep things as normal here as possible, I can’t handle any changes right now. I watch the same programmes on TV,,John and I used to, and having Fister in bed next to me, helps a little.

Thank again for all your support, I can’t tell you how much it means to me!