I hope these aren't to bad. If they offend anyone PLEASE let me know and I will delete them.

Jumping On The Bed


A fiftyish woman was at home happily jumping on her
bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watched
her for a while and asked, "Do you have any idea how
ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"

The woman continued to bounce on the bed and said, "I
don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and
the doctor said I have the breasts of an 18 year-old."

The husband asked, "What did he say about your 56 year
old ass?"

"Your name never came up," she replied.




A young Japanese girl had been taught all her life
> that when she married, she was to please her husband
> and never upset him. So the first morning of her
> honeymoon, the young Japanese bride crawled out of
> bed after making love, stooped down to pick up her
> husband's clothes and accidentally let out a big
> fart.
>
> She looked up and said:
>
> "Aww so sowwy...excuse prease, front hole so
> happy, back hole laugh out loud...