Valentine's Cards That Didn't Make It

* I admire your strength, I admire your spunk,
but the thing I like best is getting you drunk.

* Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless one day you refuse to swallow.

* I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

* This feels so good, it feels so right.
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.

* You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class;
especially when I'm spanking your big, round, fat ass.

* Before I met you, my heart was famished
But now I'm fulfilled
So make me a sandwich.

* Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown
But so's your ass.

* You're a honey and you're a cutie;
I just wished you had J-Lo's booty.

* I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it; I'm horny.

* If you think that hickey looks like a blister
You should check out the one I gave to your sister.