No matter how standoffish she may be she is sooooooooo BEAUTIFUL!
There is no way to know for sure if the spay will make her anymore social. They each have their own personalities and who can figure that out?! I have noticed with my girls that they are far more independant than the boys. That tends to make them seem more distant and harder to reach. I can offer some hope if she does like my girls. The older they get the more loving they become. They still aren't as "needy" as the boys but they do like small amounts of attention now. I really think that it's a boy/girl thing as well as individual personalities. Hang in there meowmie, she will mellow with age!