He he he! You sound just like me Kate. Whenever the marriage topic comes up in our house, my face goes like this...
I guess the reason is I just turned 19, and well...I don't exactly want to get married yet. My parents on the other hand seem to want to prepare me mentally, so that if they ever get a good proposal for me, I wouldn't take it as such a big shock.
Now, in my *culture*, the parents are almost always 'asked' for their daughter's 'hand', by the boy or the boy's family. It is NOT arranged in the sense that when someone asks the girl's parents, and the PARENTS like the person and agree, the daughter HAS to marry that person. Its not like that at all, and when I tell people how our marriage system works, it seems they suddenly assume that's what it is, but later say 'that makes so much more sense' when I explain it to them. I guess basically the guy interested in the girl (or the guy's parents) will go and ask the girl's parents. If the girl's parents think its a 'good proposal', they would go and talk to the daughter. The decision totally depends on the girl though. She has to know who the person proposing is, get to see/know him, and tell her parents whether she agrees or disagrees. If she disagrees, that's the end of things. Its not forced in any way like so many people seem to think.
Actually...even with the son's marriage, in our culture, the parents usually do the 'searching', and help him find a potential mate as they do with the daughter, and of course, the marriage is based on the son's agreement too. I guess in our culture, marriage is basically an agreement between the kids and parents. Both parents and kids usually agree on the person they will marry. I personally like it. The parents are satisfied that the person their child is going to live with will love/care for her as they should, and the couple getting married is also happy with the decision (because the couple, both boy and girl make the final decision). We also have a much lower divorce rate than the overall population, and while I can't say this is the reason, I do believe it might be one of the factors involved. People are generally immature in the early 20s...the age most people get married. If you make the decision yourself, it is possible you might make one that is rather immature. With your parents' help, you have the help of two people who are 20-40 or so years older than you, and have a whole life's experience. I like that when its my time to get married, I will not be on my own, but will have my parents to help me. Doing it this way not only has the couple's happy, but both families are usually very happy too.
Your father seems to be very sweet Kate. He obviously cares about you a great deal. You're a lucky girl.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks