I'm sorry I'd be mad at the hubby's reaction too. Was he fully awake when he was talking to you? My boyfriend will sometimes talk to me when he's half-awake and then doesn't remember it the next day. Sounds like you might want to sit down with him and tell him why you're upset, and explain to him that you both have to be a united front against your daughter's behavior.

As for the kid, sounds like she maybe just doesn't care if she gets caught and punished, or if something happens to her out on the streets. Could she be depressed/lonely/angry? Why is she acting out - for attention/love/to let out her anger? I agree that a counselor might be a good idea. I went with my family a few times in my teenage years. It really did help. Hopefully hubby might agree to family counseling all together. Maybe don't call it "family couseling," call it something else. Sometimes there is a stigma associated with going to see a "counselor"- you know?

My parents had to make a last-ditch effort with my brother when he was being a wild teenager - they literally took away his bedroom door. They said, "If you can't be honest with us, then we can't trust you. You don't deserve a door. You don't deserve privacy. We paid for this house, and everything in it, therefore, we decide who gets a door and who doesn't." So everything he did in there, my parents knew it. He couldn't do hardly anything without everyone in the house knowing about it. It really upset him, but at the same time it let him know my parents were serious and he had to prove he was trustworthy to get his door back (took about a year). I don't know how much that would really help in your situation though. But just thinking outside the box sometimes helps.

Also - how is she getting out of the house? Could you install motion detecting floodlights on your driveway or something? Honestly, my parents did that too. The switch was in their bedroom (they have a lock and key on their bedroom door, it's locked whenever they're not in it). I guess she could just avoid the driveway...I'm just thinking of things my parents always did to bust me. My parents are very, um, non-conventional anyway though.