How long have you been on your medication? It will take time for it to kick in and sometimes the first medication is not the right medication for you. Whatever you do - don't hurt yourself. There are too many of us out here you can pm or call when you are feeling that way. PM me and I will give you my phone number and you can call anytime day or night.

From all the things you have written, I would say drop the courses. And then do not allow yourself to dwell on the money you "lost". Your mental health is worth more than any money lost. You know yourself best, trust in that. Do not let anyone put pressure on you for any reason. No one can make you feel bad or guilty - you allow them to. It is not easy to turn negative self thoughts away but you must learn to do that. Don't allow yourself to start with the should haves.

Life is tough enough. Take it easy on yourself and know that what you are feeling is not all that unusual. It sounds like you are depressed and depression is an illness that needs medication and not something you can fix yourself by ignoring the symptoms or feelings you are having.

Please pm me if you need any help at all!!! I care.