How to tell if your cow has mad cow disease...

1. Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 Sauce behind each ear as cologne.

2. She refuses to let you milk her, saying, "Not on the first date."

3. Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.

4. Your cow asks to be branded again but only if you'll wear something sexy this time.

5. Your cow starts smoking the cowlick.