I feel like I have betrayed Binx, that I was the one person that said I would love him forever, and 'fix' him. Then, I changed my mind. I hurt so bad over my decision. I can only pray that this was in his best interest, and where ever he is, he knows I love him tremendously, and wanted nothing but the best for him. Sadly, I will have this on my conscience for the rest of my life. That still won't make it right.
I'm so sorry. Sometimes we do all we can do, and it's not enough. But, sometimes it IS enough, and we just can't see it because it's not the particular "enough" we had in our mind's eye.

You did not betray him, you stood by him to the end. You will love him forever. You did fix him - somewhere he is healthy and happy tonight.

Dogs aren't like people, in the fact that we can reason, understand and make a logical informed choice, with our eye on the future. If a person has cancer, they can understand the probable sucess rate of chemo vs. surgery vs. nothing, and make a choice based on quality and quantity of life. Dogs can't. They live almost 100% in the present - the past is very short and dim, and the future is practically nonexistent. The dog lying on his back in the sun is 100% THERE - in the sun, happy, warm. He's not regretting something he did yesterday, or worrying about something that might happen tomorrow. He just ... is. What a freeing, wonderful thing that would be ... to just ... be. If a dog lives 20 years or 4 weeks ... they don't know it. They have no concept of mortality, death, fairness or fate. They just ... are. It's all good to them, whether it is short in our eyes or not.