Twisterdog, I know how you feel. I tried to control my daughter about makeup. It just made her revolt against me, and sneak and wear it. I had fits one day when I came in and caught her drinking in our home, when she was 15. Again she revolted and drank with other teens. I mean in very unsafe places.
Mahayana let his boys use their own judgement. They never got into trouble. In fact, they did not care for fast cars or drinking. They tried drinking at home but didn't sneak out to drink. They turned out great from his trust of their judgement.
I can't say for sure that not allowing your children to use their own judgement is good or bad. I have been thinking that if I had trusted her more she might have had a better life. The other girls at her school were allowed to wear makeup. They wore less than she did. I blame a lot of her troubled young life on myself for not allowing her to make a few judgements for herself.
Maybe somthing different with each child. I wish I knew the answer.
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