It is nearly 6am here in UK and can't sleep for thinking about Gigi. Just a few hours ago she was here in my life and now she's gone. I know she is in a better place but I can't get my head round this right now. This wasn't meant to happen - not yet. My plan was for her to be at home, no suffering, no pain and no stress of being at the vets which is what she hated so much. To go with me and Lulu at her side. I promised her I would not keep taking her to the vets but I didn't keep my promise. But sometimes I just didn't have any other choice. Or maybe I did. I told her when she was leaving how much I loved her and how special she was, and how so very lucky I am to have been able to spend my life with such a beautiful cat. I said sorry for not being able to make her well but told her that she would soon be seeing all our other pets at Rainbow Bridge and that she should keep an eye out for her mum.

I will, now that I shall have some free time, concentrate on learning how to post pictures and you can all see just how beautiful Gigi really is. God, my life for a long time now has been taken up with nursing my sick cat. I think I may feel a bit lost for a while, and just can't bear the thought of not seeing her and touching her.

I bought a bottle of champagne for Christmas Day but I have just opened it and I shall now have a drink and celebrate my Gigi's life - I know she would approve!

Thanks for listening - so sorry to ramble on but it feels very therapeutic.

p.s. A locum is a temporary vet. Can't help but think that if Patrick had treated her, things may be different right now....?