SadieGirl, I understand your frustrations and I hope that you find a way to stop the undesirable behavior. I have a suggestion that might help get the smell out of the carpet. I have used plain white vinegar to get rid of cat smells and it works like a charm - in fact my roommate had her winter coat sprayed on by a cat and not even the drycleaners could remove the smell but wash with a little vinegar and the smell was gone. I've also used a product called "Natures Miracle" the took the smell out of the litter box. Sometime when we love our pets we have to put up with some undesirable behaviors but if we can at least have a way to get the smell out then it helps. I hope this helps you and anyone else who is dealing with similar behaviors.