Hi, Trev... Boots Kat back atcha ...

The door bangin won't wurk at my Ranch - durn hall and klozet doors fit so tight they won't rattle! Kant eben pull onna bottom wiffa klaw*knives and make ennie noize . I pushed my krunchie bowl onna floor wun nite ta try an make sum noize, but then the durn Dawgs jest hadda feast an I went hungree. Sum nites ya jest kant win!

I don't skrew up an get caught inna baffroom too often ennie more. Seekret is to *beat*pawz* away frum the scene of whateber 'disturbance' I've caused and keep movin as soon as I hear Dad's foot-pawz hit the floor commin outta the BigBed. Most times he's so sleepie he furgetz to put his extree eye lookerz on; an then he kant see a Black Kat so good when it's dark:thirty. We allus play hide an seek fur a while; then he gibbs up an hasta go toss the Muttz offa the hot spot onna BigBed afore he can klimb back in. Wiff allua pain (runnin inta walls an chairs) an sufferin (back strains tossin Dawgz) he putz hisself through to hunt me down; he often jest grinds his toofies in bed till I run outta things to bang around.

I alluz let hin knowe when I'm dun tearrin up the house an am ready fer a snooze. I often sleep onna bookcase above the BigBed (no room onna bed cuzza that new mutt, SmokePot!) So onna way up to the bookcase, I alluz make sure to say 'hello' to Dad wiffa a carefully placed paw onna facebone or other *tender* spot . Then I usually sleep wiffa tailbone *swisshin* acrost his nozebone, too.

Nites a purdy phunnie round my house!