Shina

[Aimyloo]

It will be 3 months today, October 5th at approximately 430.

I dont know why I didnt think to look at the clock while i was in there when she went. I just know that the vets stayed about an hour or so longer then they had to. I just couldnt leave her laying there on that cold table. I had brought her wrapped in a big soft bath blanket. I kept her covered and warm. I walked out of the room once, and almost made it to the door. When I looked back, I could still see her head, on the table....only partially covered to her neck with the blanket, and I HAD to go back. I knew Shina loved to be covered under a bankie. I went back in for a more than several minutes , I picked her up as best I could, hugged her and touched her all over every part of her body that I could, took the soft part of her ear in between my lips and did the little rubby thing I did, kissed her good bye for the last time all over her face and neck... I touched her soft fur...she always had THE softest fur. Anyone who ever touched her always commented on how soft she was..... I covered her all the way up, over the head and all, just like she liked it.

Im sitting here just sobbing and snottin all over the place as I type this. What the heck is wrong with me? I keep thinking, after she was gone, all the things the vet techs were talking to me about. I was pretty angry to find out that she was kept at the office for 5 days before they took her to be...cremated...after they said it would be done the next day. Shina didnt like to be cold.

I just want her to come home I miss her so bad I keep thinking Im doing better, but as soon as I have a spare moment and I think about her, Im in tears, and wishing I was with her.

*sigh*
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Edited for typos...since I was sobbing when I wrote this.