I want to thank you guys for letting me get some frustration out on here. And thanks to everyone for lending me a shoulder to cry on. I have never felt so comfortable and close to people I have never met before and you guys are truly some special people.

We went to Chris' funeral today. That was the saddest thing I have ever had to sit through. I don't handle death well at all and my mom never made me go to funerals with her.. she would just give my sympathies for me. I started feeling guilty yesterday that I didn't go to the viewing and my friend did not want to go to the funeral alone so I went with him. I am so at a loss for words except that I am so sad for his family. I never knew so much went into a funeral... in a wierd way it was like I was at a wedding... I guess since after planning mine and Eric's wedding it was easy to see the planning that went into it. They played a couple of songs and someone gave a eulogy (sp) and another song etc... I mean over one STUPID high of heroine.. Chris' family had to get together and pick out songs to play at their son's funeral. Chris was only 28. He was thier KID! All this makes me want to turn into a one man army and wipe out all the drugs.. it makes me angry. Sorry that I am going on like this to you guys .... but It makes it easier to deal with. Drugs were real big in my circle of friends and I could never imaging having to make my parents go throught that. I am so thankful that me and Eric have cleaned up and left those people in our pasts.,.... but then again it makes me worried about them... I hope they are doing ok and cleaning themselves up somehow. People always tell you these things about drugs but the addicts never think it will happen to them.... sorry if I sound like a commercial but I am so dissapointed, and so sad for his family. His dad was crying so hard.... I pray that no one else would ever have to bury their child over something SO STUPID!!