Dear evil spammers. Santa knows us all, and whether we have been good or bad. You are so gonna get driveway rocks* in your stockings.

Santa knows I do not have any children. You can stop sending me spam to have Santa write my child a letter - if you knew Santa, you would know he does not need your help. Or my money.

*When one grows up as the child of a stationary engineer, one does not get threatened wit coal in one's stocking if one misbehaves.. Coal can be burned for fuel or for power or for heat. It is too valuable to be given a to a naughty child. If you are bad, Santa will just fill your stocking with driveway rocks - from your own driveway even, so you can be sure none of them will be valuable or interesting.

Just though you all ought to know!