See, I need to make a grocery run - I knew I had a whole box of oatmeal - turns out I had grabbed the "lower sugar" kind (of Maple Brown Sugar, my favorites kind) and hadn't realized they didn't just lower the amount of sugar like I thought, they added sucralose in to compensate. My body objects strongly to artificial sweeteners. Sigh. At least I read the ingredient list before ingesting any … That'll go to the food pantry! But now I want my oatmeal and have none - nearly a crisis!

So bartender - I know this is unusual, but can I have some oatmeal with brown sugar and maple and maybe some raisins and walnuts* thrown in? Pleeease?