Its hard for us not to feel guilt or to think "what if". But you can't torture yourself like that, though I know exactly how you feel. When they were trying to take Duke back to put the catheter in his leg, he didn't want to go and his tail was tucked. That image haunts me to this day and still hurts. I'm so sorry you weren't able to be with Tommy when he passed. But I'll tell you it doesn't make it easier. Just take comfort in knowing that Tommy was so loved by you and he knew it. A little piece of your heart will always carry him until you can be reunited. If I didn't believe that myself, I swear I don't know how I'd keep living. Time will make it easier but it does take a while. Love on your girls and let them take some of the sadness away, if even for a few short minutes.