Welcome Lily:
I'm one of the Canadian members of this forum and as others have said, you've come to the right place.

Here, you can open up your heart and let it pour on the pages. Feel like crying? It's OK, we will cry with you. I remember when I had to send my heart kitty Max to the rainbow bridge, it was heart wrenching so I know how you feel. I did the same thing; get carpet cleaned, painted entire apartment and got it all spruced up before bringing Merlin home. I just can't imagine my home without purrs or headbumpies.

Would love to see some pictures of your sweet furbaby. RIP little one.

Slick and Merlin