I've been thinking about Roxy a lot lately, as well as my grandpa. I think about one of them and almost always think about the other. Losing my heart dog in July of 2010, felt like everything around me was completely and utterly awful. I'd never had to have a dog put to sleep, and it was killing me because she was my Roxy, my sweet beautiful girl. She was supposed to live a long happy life and die of old age, not like this. Then a few months later, my grandpa was diagnosed with stomach cancer and then he too, was also gone from my life.

I always thought the pain of losing my heart dog and one of the most important people in my life would slowly ease to a dull throbbing ache in my heart, but sometimes it seems much worse than that. It hurts so bad sometimes, remembering how I can't hug Roxy or hear her happy bark, or call my grandpa on the phone and tell him about my grade I made on an exam or some other random trivial thing in my life.

I never thought I'd miss the small things so much. But that's probably the things that I miss the most.

My grandpa's house is currently on the market, seeing as no one in our family can afford it or can purchase it. I go and look at the listing and tear up knowing that I have to leave Roxy behind, buried in the backyard where she was happy, or knowing that I have to leave my memories.

I know that Roxy and pappy will always, always be with me, but it just hurts to have to leave that tangible place and Roxy's tangible grave behind.

It's been 9 months since losing Roxy and 6 since losing my grandpa, and it still hurts almost every day. Time is supposed to heal the pain, but to me it only seems to make me wish they were here more. I'm afraid of forgetting the little things.

Still loving you both and missing you always.
ETA: I was looking back through my old Youtube videos and found this. It's from FIVE years ago, and that seems like such an eternity, when it's truly not...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg6z1...el_video_title