Posted from another forum I am on:

• I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

• I had amnesia once -- or twice.

• I went to San Francisco and I found someone's heart. Now what?

• Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

• All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

• If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride side saddle.

• What is a 'free' gift? Aren't all gifts free?

• Someone told me I was gullible and I believed them.

• Teach a child to be polite and courteous and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

• Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

• One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

• My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

• I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

• The high cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

• How can there be self-help 'groups'?

• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

• Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

• Is it just me--or do buffalo wings really taste like chicken?