I am sorry to read this - sounds like you have had such a rigid upbringing and now have this crisis. I am saddened that your former friends feel they have to lecture you rather than love and listen to you. Perhaps they are also victims of such a rigid and judgemental viewpoint? A good thing is that faith does not depend on us at all, it is a gift of God and even though you may not feel it, God does not ever change. *People*, sinful people... screw this up. So hang in there and try to find some new friends who love and support you ok? (((HUGS)))