Some cats who were born and lived outside remain shy or distant all their life, while others can turn to very affectionate and lap kitties. They are all different. And it may take a lot of time to change.

Most kitties who are not used to humans do not like to be held. It's a lot of stress for them when they don't feel safe enough to handle it. So my advice would be pet her and talk to her instead of trying to take her in your arms. And also, try not to look right into her eyes, she will feel agressed.

Some people here have much more experience than I have and could probably give you more advice. From my little experience as a volunteer in a shelter, I know that some kitties get used to be petted and LOVE it but will never like to be hold. Again, it's not true for all cats and I am not saying yours will never be a lap kitty