I think for most people, this is a huge hurdle to jump over. Huge. Your most precious gift in the care of someone you don't know. I have been more than blessed to have my mother care for J since he was 8 weeks old. Even then, it pulls at your heart tremendously. For me, not because of trust, but, cause I missed him so very much. 5 years later, I still miss him every single moment I am away from him. I haven't outgrown it. I don't yearn for 'me time', girl time, etc. I yearn for more J time! I might be weird.

I would seriously search for a way to stay at home with your daughter for as long as you can, or search for ways that your partner can care for her while you work PT in the evenings or on weekends. By the time she is 3, she will possibly be in preschool up to 3 mornings a week, and by the time she is 6, school full day. It is such a short period of time, I would try to do whatever you can to stay at home.

If that just isn't able to work out, I would search for a small, in home provider through your church or circle of friends. Maybe even another mom that would swap out days with you? I think having someone come into your home would be really a luxury.

I think most places you search will seem okay. After all, they wouldn't stay in business otherwise. At your daughter's age, I would focus most on the ratio of caregivers to infants. Your daughter needs to be held and coddled, more so than a 3 year old that is off and running. I would look for someplace that will work with you on providing BM if you are still BFing and not treat it like toxic foodstuff. I would look for a place that provides a nice napping area, quiet and a bit out of the main thoroughfare. I would look for a place that has longevity in employment relationships.

I would trust your gut, ask lots of questions and observe as much as you can. Good luck, I do not envy you your position.