Thanks you guys. All valid points!

I've never been close with my Grandpa, and every time I've seen him in the last year or two he makes snide comments about my weight, or what I'm eating or how I need to exercise more (even after I lost 25lbs!). I will see him, and the rest of the family, in December for our family Christmas party if I don't go.

R's mom will definitely understand if I go to the birthday party instead. But at this point I feel like his family WANTS me to be around, and mine is indifferent whether I'm at the party or not (except my Mom who pushing me to go to the party).

Normally I'd be the first one to say that you should put family first or that blood is thicker than water. But these people are my future family and I think I would enjoy their company more. There's going to be another get together with my family again this summer for my Grandma that I will make sure I attend. I do like the idea, Karen, of calling and talking with everybody, and will do that.