I have heard of Alateen and Alateenies (I'm sure that was the word!), but don't know how widespread the latter are.

Maybe she could accompany an adult to an Alateen meeting? Or meet up with other kids at the BBQs and other events these groups sometimes have?

There mus be Al-Anon parents of kids her age...could you attend a few Al-Anon meetings to at least get support in this, and ideas?