Quote Originally Posted by catnapper View Post
I guess you are right.... but its HARD! I have been 100% supportive. Believe me. But there's a difference between support and enabling. He has driven his head so far into a hole in the ground that he can't see the light. We nearly lost our house last month. I borrowed from my 402k to get caught up. His sister pays ALL our bills except the house and car loan. The kids pay the phone bill. He simply hides in the house all day and I swear he's going after the wrong jobs on purpose. I swear he just wants to sit at home and hide from the world. I truly understand how he's feeling but I also know its not healthy, that there IS something out there that will be fulfilling. I found it for myself two years ago.
As I mentioned previously, years ago when I was still married, my husband and I lost our business. Afterwards, my daily routine was to get my son up for school and get him taken care of and my husband temporarily went to work for someone else. After my son was gone for the day, I stayed in my pajamas and watched TV in the dark. I'd get going before my son came home from school and my husband came home from work so they never knew what I had been doing all day, which was nothing, just hiding from the world. You may find this hard to believe but at the time, I didn't realize that I was depressed. It wasn't until perhaps a decade later that, upon reflection, I realized what had been going on. At the time it was happening, I think I may have felt that I was taking a much needed rest for both my body and my mind, although at that time I didn't even have that rationale.

Your situation is a bit different because you are actually able to see what your husband is doing. One day, though, I just had had enough of doing nothing and I snapped out of it on my own. Perhaps your husband will do the same. I'm so sorry that this is happening and maybe my experience didn't bring you any comfort as I had hoped it would but I just want you to realize that your husband may make the same decision that I made, that it's enough already and he'll get back to living.