I spent the night disappointed about my presents (hopefully not too selfishly). All I wanted was some thought. I don't care if what somebody got me costed 50 cents, it would have been a million times better to me than a gift card or a fuzzy poster of a cartoon the giver knows I don't even like. And their excuse was they didn't know what to give me, I gave several cheap suggestions under $10. I would have even preferred something homemade over something with absolutely no thought in it. I put tons of thought in what I could get people that would make them truely happy even on a budget. But I don't want to be selfish.

My ex-girlfriend and her family are surprisingly the only ones who put thought into their gifts as much as I do. I got gnome pajamas and a gnome ornament from her mom (I love gnomes), and she got me a rainbow flag and DVD's (If These Walls Could Talk 1 and 2 and Queer Duck) and funny pens and a book of bumper stickers. So now I can be happy again, people thought of me.

Sorry about the mini-rant. I think this all goes back to the fact that my mom hasn't surprised me with a gift since I was a maybe 10 or 12, I've had to go shopping with her and pick out what I want and it really does hurt like she's saying she doesn't care to think about me enough to get me something from the heart. She'd buy me stuff that cost $100, but it never made me happy. It was like her elaborate spending on my birthday would make up for the fact that she didn't spend any time with me. Maybe that's why I have so many collections of which nobody can think of anything to get me. I think I'll wind up a very organized hoarder one day. A place for everything and everything in my place.

Haven't done one of my other friend's exchanges yet, but I'm sure even her husband could think of something more thoughtful than a gift card. I got her a case of super fine glitter for crafting because she eyes it up in the store but won't allow herself to spend $20 on a few tubes of sparkles. Her husband I got a vintage Old Style glass with two handles because I thought he'd be amused and he likes Old Style stuff. I also kept finding thrift store stuff for them like additions to their giraffe collection and two greyhound stuffed animals that look like their greyhound. Thought, and it was simple. And we'd all be just as happy to hang out and watch movies with or without presents.