Great thread! I also have a lot of losses that have sometimes feel like bottomless pits through the holidays. Over the years I have found a few things that helped -

- getting involved a card exchange. It makes me so happy to see cards all around the doorways and across the mantle & furniture tops. Making my own cards is especially fun, when I've had the time. ( I will even put up last years cards & get to appreciate them all over again)

- I pick up a name or two from one of those "Giving Trees" in malls or at Walmart. I miss shopping for kids now that mine are grown & gone. It's fun to go pick out toys & clothes to brighten another child's christmas, even if I don't actually see their face. The fun is in the shopping!

- I go to a big Christmas event. (a concert or ballet, something I may not usually do.) Those are usually very grand & beautiful, it feels kind of magical to be surrounded by all that glitz. Last year I went to a concert in one of these gorgeous mansions here in Newport - what a treat!

- I send donations to rescues (in my case, siberian rescues), & drop off a check & a bag of treats at the local shelter. (these don't have to be big amount, they appreciate every little bit.) It just makes me feel happy to help.

-I bake batches of my mom's cookie & pastry recipes & mail them to my sons to enjoy thru the holidays.

- Make a big traditional dinner & have friends over who also don't have family nearby.

Well, those are a few of things that I do that have helped me move from that gray depression of the past into the present moment, & enjoy the things that are part of my life now.
I feel better already - Merry Christmas everyone!