More unsolicited advice from a third party, Richard: look into a guardian ad litem. This person can act as an advocate for your mom and her care. It doesn't give her/him complete control but s/he is trained in this type of situation and it could help your mom (and you) immensely. Also, is it possible to call a powwow w/your family, to make a list of subjects that need to be addressed and handled immediately and then ask who would be willing and/or able to help w/them?

Your statement that Mom comes first and the money second is right on the mark IMO. That's always been my philosophy and where your focus should stay. That will help you through the madness. I'm sure that it would grieve your Mom to know that her family is divided at a time when she needs unity more than ever. However, I'm equally as sure that she knows the personalities involved and she's aware of how they conduct themselves, especially under pressure or during the hard times, so it probably would come as no surprise to her that the family is behaving in such a manner. You've certainly done well by coming to PT to vent. Lots of encouragement can be found here and, once in a while, a good idea or two. You are loved, mister.