Boy do I understand. When I lost Duke, I was in deep depression for months. I came very close to having a breakdown. Don't worry so much about your eating right now. I think you're trying to rush your dealing with Nicki's passing. Do you think you have a fear of success on losing weight? You might be sabotaging yourself. I've not had any experience with the meds so I can't help you there. It'll get better but it takes a lot of time. I would suggest taking your other dog (name escapes me) on some walks. That will help to release some good endorphins to make you feel better. I've been where you are and it's not fun. Also, several people here at PT helped me through pms whenever I wanted to talk.