Thank you everyone.

Its weird not having her here. She was such a part of my daily routine for so long that its going to take a long time to fill the void. I am SO GLAD I didn't yell at her for vomiting this morning. I just cleaned it up and asked her if she was ok. I'd be devastated to realize my last words to her were angry ones because she got sick. I'm so glad I simply cleaned it up and finished getting ready for work. I'm glad she passed with Cameron petting her. She LOVED that little boy. I swear he's the reason she held on as long as she did. He made her young. He made her happy.

Mom called me after to work to see how I was doing. She told me she took a nap after I told her this afternoon and dreamed that Grandmom was standing in heaven with all our past pets waiting for her. I had the same image in my head.

Yeah, silly me went back to work. Mainly because I didn't want to be home where everything reminded me of Nicki. I wanted to get over the shock first. I left work and went to random stores just to not go home. The mall closed at 6:00, as did almost everything else. hubby doesn't want to see a movie, so we came home.

And just yesterday I was looking to buy a new dog bed for Nicki but decided not to because I knew she'd pee on it the first night. I've known it was time for a few weeks now, I just couldn't do it because I felt I'd feel guilty wondering if I put her down too soon. Now she's free and spending time getting to see my Grandmom again. She's romping and frolicking the way she used to. and I'll see her again someday.

Actually, I fully believe she'll come back to me in some other form some day. Perhaps as another dog, maybe a cat, or perhaps a human next time. But I do believe we'll love each other again in this lifetime.