Ed,
Why do you insist on climbing on top of the fridge, then cry when you can't get down?

ED:
Crying? Get Down? That's the 'dust the top of the fridge" alert. Stupid!

-----------------------------

Ed,
Why do you climb on top of me when I am sound asleep?

ED:
Dude, I want to make sure there isn't a frigging bear snoring in there with you.

-----------------------------

Ed,
Why do you spill water from your dish on the floor?

ED:
Wash the bottom of your feet once in a while!!!

-----------------------------

Ed,
Why do you insist on running thru the house at night?

ED:
Like, why not?