I am so sorry for your pain and questioning - and of course, for your friend.

These are the times that truly test us - we are left feeling so helpless. We feel as though we should have known - been able to do something to prevent it - but sadly we cannot.

My sister-in-law's father committed suicide. I remember being so sad. He had incurable cancer. But later I was also angry with him because he left this legacy for my niece and nephew. It turns out that there is a history of suicides in that family.