but I have to say I am happy for her
You think just like me, maybe that's why we get along so well. I was happy for Thunder too, to finally be out of that pain. He didn't want to be here anymore he was miserable.

then to see her lying on the Vet's table dead
Don't think of it that way, think of her spirit just coming out of her body and being beside you again happy and young again. She'll only be gone in body form.

I find it was harder to think about the day coming then after it happened.
I cried alot before the day but after I was happy for him and knew he was still beside me.