Well, this evening, it hit me that I have only two days left with Luna and Lily, before I have to leave them for at least 6 weeks. I really breaks my heart to look at them, it makes me so sad that I have to leave them alone. 6 weeks is a terribly long time to live without their cuteness and loveliness, without seeing their sweet faces, or touching their soft fur. I will miss their purring, their little voices, their weight on my blanket at night. How I can live such a long time without all this???
And even more I fear for their safety!! Lily has started to sneak out of the apartment door, she never did that before but now she tried it a couple of times, and one time, she was already in the stairways. I wrote down instructions for the catsitters about what to do in such a case, but unfortunately, my neighbor, who was supposed to look after them, took that wrong and thought I would consider her to be too stupid to care for them, which resulted in a terrible fight (she has many problems herself atm and is acting somewhat manic, which is why I wouldn't feel comfortable with the thought of her looking after my cats anyway). She also did something else which caused a lot of stress and trouble for me, and we had a bad argument, and now don't talk anymore. But now there's only her husband left to look after Luna and Lily, and my mother of course.
I'm so afraid that something happens while I'm away. I don't feel my girls are safe here without me. Maybe I'm just overprotective, but it worries me that Lily tried to escape. Especially at night, I have visions of the most horrible things that could possibly happen, and it really makes me ill. I'm afraid that being seperated from my girls makes me so sad and nervous that the entire therapy at the clinic will be counterproductive.
Right now, I'm really sitting here in tears because it hurts so much to leave my beloved girls. 6 weeks is too long a time to think it will soon be over. And it could be very well that I have to stay even longer. I would gladly leave here (especially after the incident with my neighbor, who lives one floor down), but the thought of parting with my girls is simply unbearable!
Sorry for venting,
Kirsten
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