IMO if one of my *true* friends had a dog with behavioral problems, they would take my advice to heart and do something about it and would NOT guilt me about any decision they CHOSE to make. Then again, all of my close friends are all wonderful, selfless people and if they had a problem dog like that they would seek my help and advice and they WOULD get training and they would completely understand why I could not visit them until the dog has been worked with, especially if I had a child around!!

If your friend doesn't want to be complaint, then that is her prerogative and her decision. But DO NOT feel bad about any decision SHE decides to make. This is not your decision. If you feel scared and/or threatened by this dog and she won't do anything about it then it's sad but in all honesty I would feel it be my duty to society (and the safety of everyone living around her and in the general public) to report her to animal control. Maybe that will give her a dose of reality and she will take it to training or something.

It's a shame her husband is in Iraq, and bless his heart for fighting for our freedom and our country, but that doesn't negate the fact that this dog *seemingly* hasn't been properly taken care of (yes, in my opinion basic training is a factor in properly caring for your dog) and she really needs to do something about it.

How does the dog behave around her?

EDIT: And as far as worrying about the husband being mad at you... let him. You are not forcing your friend to do anything. If she chooses to get training, good for her. If she chooses to have the dog put down then SHE chose to put the dog down, NOT you. Don't guilt yourself over this.

Just lay low, explain to her you simply can not be around, especially with your child, until she gets the dog some training or rehomes him with someone who can give him more time and training that he deserves.

Have her children been bit? That would terrify me, I missed that part at first... if the dog bit your child and other strangers, what makes her think the dog won't do some serious damage to her own children?