Sigh... this was not a happy easter. I decided that since I was going up to my mom and dad I would drive over to the vet tech's house first, since I wasn't getting any answers from her via phone, and it was still early in the day.

I talked to Amanda, the girl who took Ally in, and, long story short, she had Ally PTS about 2 weeks ago. I knew something was going on, and I kinda had a feeling it wasn't good.

She assured me she tried everything with her, and even though she was bitten by her (I warned her...), she still had held out hope that something would change. She said she had never encountered a cat quite like Ally, being so aggressive and attacking unprovoked, and she was as scared of her as I had been.

We talked for at least 2hrs, we were both in tears, because we both wanted what was best for Ally, and neither of us wanted to have her PTS. I feel like I let her down. I just don't know what else I could have done, except ship her to someone else (another PT'er maybe??) who wanted to care for her. I doubt anyone would have wanted that job. Maybe Barbara or Carole, I dunno. Maybe I should have asked them if they wanted to take her, or if anyone would have taken her. I really don't think that would have been the answer though. I don't think it would have done any good for Ally.

Amanda did have her cremated, and she did give me her ashes. She said she thought I'd want to give her a proper burial. So, now she is buried up at my mom and dad's farm, next to our family pets who passed away. It's a nice spot, with rose bushes and currant bushes and gooseberry bushes growing. It's been so soggy and wet here, I didn't have to worry about the digging her grave.

I've been trying to keep the thought in my heart that she is now at peace. No more being afraid of people and attacking them. No more wondering where her owner is. She is finally resting. I just hope that's true, for her sake.

I'm sorry Ally. I hope you'll forgive me for failing you, because that's how I really feel no matter what.