I am so very sorry for your loss!!! Please don't ever think you failed her, she knew how loved she was. In time you will understand you did not fail her but gave her everything she deserved and then some. When I lost Mousse I lost the best friend I have ever had or will ever have. There will never be another bond like the one I had with him, it was just as you described with your precious Lolly, but I never doubt for a minute that he knew how much I loved him and how totally lost in my life I would become without him, loosing him for me was like loosing a part of my soul. But he will always be there and so will Lolly, keep thinking of all the wonderful blessed days you had with her and slowly you will get through it. My heart and my prayers go out to you, I pray you will eventually find a shred of peace you so need.