Oh Kirsten, I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. I had to have surgery when I was 21 for precancerous growths on my uterus, and had to keep a close eye on everything since then... I was good about doctor visits until about 2-3 years ago, and haven't been back since . I get so nervous while there, I hyperventilate and everything. I loved my gyno, then while working part time at the Moravian Bookshop in Bethlehem, he came in with a co-worker of mine. Since then, they've married, and whenever I went back to see him, I'd be on the table and he'd be like "So, how are so and so doing at school?" and it just made me feel weird! Like, does he go home and say "Well, while I had Jenn on the table today..." I dunno... I'm just weird I guess, lol.

I can also sympathize with you feeling depressed. Depression can make such a huge difference with how you recover, and the speed with which you recover. I hope you can find something to elevate your mood (whether natural or medicinal). A lot of people don't realize how debilitating depression can be...

Big hugs going out to you for a faster recovery and more relief for your pain. I hope your work understands how important it is for you to recuperate fully and that your health and well-being is more important than rushing you to do something that may be have long term repercussions that are even worse.