Oh Lori, I wish I had the answer for you.
When I was having problems with Sades viciously attacking Mooky, I had to resort to being a little tougher with him. I would yell NO, then grab Sades by the scruff of the neck and gently, mind you, throw him on the bed and close him in the room, by himself for a few days. The last time I had to do this, he stayed in the room for almost a week and it's been almost a year now, I think, since I've had to do this. They still hiss now and then at each other, but there have been no more attacks.
Also, whenever Sades would scratch at the door, I would open it just enough so he couldn't run out and squirt him with water yelling NO at the same time. He knew I was not a happy camper. Once he did come out and was civil to Mooky, I would tell him what a good boy he was and gave him some lovings.

And in regards to your balancing act little dare devil, the only thing I can think of, is that the minute you see her motion to jump where she isn't suppose to, grab her firmly and tell her NO, or try the squirt bottle. Then after doing this a few times and you catch her again, just yell NO and if she stops, make sure you praise her for being a good girl.

Good Luck sweetie. I can sense in your writing how frustrating this is for you. E-mail me if you want to vent some more, okay.